Finding a Balance

Learning to live a healthy, balanced life.

Heartbroken.

If you’re currently pregnant or feel like you might be upset by reading something about very serious pregnancy complications, please don’t read any further.

Well we certainly can’t predict the future and there’s no way we could have seen what was coming for us. And I don’t think I would have wanted to know, either. Our life has changed dramatically in the past two weeks: we have gone from debating over whether or not to find out the gender of our baby and starting to register for baby shower gifts to meeting with specialist after specialist and having ultrasound after ultrasound. And making decisions that we never thought we would have to make.

I’m not ready, and perhaps never will be, to go into too much detail here on the blog, but here’s the short story: after the concern with the 20-week anatomy scan, the doctors found an extremely rare tumor in baby’s chest cavity. Because of the stress it’s putting on the heart and because it’s causing some blood flow blockage it’s very likely to be fatal for baby. Early in conversations, surgery was presented as a possible option, but it’s since been taken off the table because of the risks associated with it. So now we wait — if baby can somehow make it another ten weeks, there’s the possibility he could be delivered early and go through an operation at that time — but either way, the outlook isn’t good. In fact, no matter what happens, we (and our baby boy) have a long, long road ahead. And while we’re trying process everything and to prepare ourselves for whatever happens, sometimes it doesn’t seem like this can really be happening.

Right now, all we can do is what we have control over. I’m continuing to exercise (at the encouragement of my doctors), eat well and hope for the best. We’re under the care of an amazing team of specialists and I’m so thankful for them. We also have the best support system we could ever hope for in our friends and family. And we have each other.

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