Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Awareness Day

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In the United States, one out of every four pregnancies ends in miscarriage and one in every 160 pregnancies end in stillbirth. These numbers do not include infant death from preterm labor, diagnosis of life-limiting conditions, or SIDS. Here in Minnesota, Governor Dayton declared today, March 15, as Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Day, and March, Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Month. The amazing site Pregnancy After Loss Support has been leading the effort in raising awareness and acknowledging the difficult journey of balancing joy and grief during a subsequent pregnancy after loss.

I’m honored to contribute to the Pregnancy After Loss Support site as a Bump Day Blogger where I’ve been documenting my own PAL journey.

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We feel so lucky to have been able to get pregnant again, but it hasn’t been a joy-filled journey. We had our big appointment — the anatomy scan — last week. This is the appointment that, just under 11 months ago, we found out our unborn son was likely going to die. The one that changed our lives forever. But this time around, we got happier news, and with that, a small weight has been lifted. And in two days, I’ll be halfway done with this journey that, at times, has felt like it might kill me.

I’ve switched doctors twice, had three ultrasounds, more than a couple frantic calls to the doctor and quite a few panic attacks. And unfortunately, these are all very common and normal things to happen in subsequent PAL. But sometimes you feel like something is wrong with you, especially when those around you are telling you how excited you should be that you’re pregnant again and that you shouldn’t worry because it’s bad for the baby, or chances of what happened before are low, so it likely won’t happen again and that you need to think positively. Those things aren’t helpful because I know all of those things. But trauma is a very real thing. And those who suffer from it have very little control of the after-effects.

So that’s why this day and month are so important — please help spread the word to help support women and their partners who are navigating this, sadly all-too-common journey. Find out how, here.

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12 thoughts on “Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Awareness Day

  1. Hyedi!!!! This is the first I’m reading of this news, and I am so thrilled for you and your husband. And you are too cute! Quit hoarding all the cute! 🙂

    Having recently miscarried myself, (at a MUCH earlier stage than Charlie was at) I can already see that a major concern of mine will be that life will continue and my baby will be forgotten because they never saw the outside. So I can sort of see that comments like the ones you mentioned, (“Don’t be stressed, this pregnancy will be better!”) would be hurtful. Don’t let anyone diminish your emotions. Feel everything.

    I’ll be praying for an uneventful and healthy remainder of your pregnancy! Are you announcing gender??

    Jacki

    1. Thanks a ton, Jacki! You’re so sweet 🙂

      And I can totally relate to what you’re saying. Charlie was our second pregnancy — I miscarried in my first pregnancy, just shy of six weeks and I struggled with those concerns while pregnant with Charlie. But I think it’s good you’ve given it some thought ahead of time — hugs to you, lady!

      And thank you for the prayers — they’re much appreciated 🙂 And yep — we’re having another boy! We’ve actually known for a couple of months since we had some early genetic testing done. They confirmed it at the u/s last week!

  2. I’m so happy for you! I imagine getting through that appointment last week was such a big relief. Sending you continued good wishes during these next 20 weeks.

  3. Hyedi, of course, I don’t know you IRL, so I didn’t know you were pregnant again- congratulations and I’m keeping you in my thoughts and sending you positive vibes.

  4. Oh Hyedi! Congrats! You look stunning. I can only imagine how hard PAL must be. One day at a time and you’ll get through it! I hope you can really accept all of your feelings, including the rough ones. I don’t think it’s important to never feel bad, but don’t feel bad about feeling bad! 🙂 sending hugs.

  5. Fantastic news Hyedi, congratulations! It seems this preganancy is uneventful, which I’m assuming is exactly what you want. The same happened to my friend after she lost one of her twin girls in her first pregnancy: she went on to have an absolutely normal, uneventful, full term pregnancy. She needed it, she deserved it. And so do you my blog friend. Looking forward to the next 18 weeks and to seeing your little boy. Take care 🙂

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